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ÌÇÐÄvlogÊÓƵ College is committed to ensuring the safety of all members of our campus community. We recognize that when one member of our campus is harmed, it affects all of us. It is the responsibility of the entire campus community to help create a safe campus environment. We know that harm and violence can take many different forms and affect people from all backgrounds and identities. We also recognize that there are some groups that experience harm at a higher rate than others.  For example, more than one in three women, nearly one in three men, and one in two trans and non-binary individuals experience intimate partner violence. While different research may lead to different statistics, one thing remains true. No matter the statistics, one is too many.

If you, or someone you know, experiences harm know that there are options and resources that can offer support. At ÌÇÐÄvlogÊÓƵ, there are three reporting options that do not get reported to the Title IX Office. The confidential reporting options are the Office of the Chaplain, the Student Counseling Center, and the Student Health Center. Most other faculty and staff are required to report incidents involving sexual assault, sexual harassment, dating violence, and stalking with the Title IX office. 

Key Definitions

Consent

• An affirmative, conscious decision by each participant to engage in mutually agreed-upon sexual activity.
• The following must occur:
  • Consists of mutually understandable communication
  • Informed and reciprocal
  • Freely and actively given
  • Not unlimited
  • Not indefinite

Dating and Domestic Violence

• Abusive behavior one person in a relationship uses to control the other. It can be verbal, physical, sexual or emotional.

Hazing

• Hazing is any activity expected of someone joining or participating in a group that humiliates, degrades, abuses, or endangers them, regardless of a person’s willingness to participate.
• There are three components that define hazing:
  • It occurs in a group context
  • Humiliating, degrading, or endangering behavior
  • Happens regardless of an individual’s willingness to participate

Sexual Assault

• Any type of sexual contact, touching or behavior that happens without consent of the recipient.

Stalking

• Stalking is a pattern of behavior that makes someone feel afraid, nervous, harassed, or in danger. It is when someone repeatedly makes contact, follows, sends things, or calls when it is not wanted.

Signs of Healthy and Unhealthy Relationships

The has developed the 10 Signs of a Healthy and Unhealthy Relationships. The One Love Foundation was created in honor of Yeardley Love with the mission to educate young people. The One Love Foundation recognizes that everyone is in a wide variety of relationships, and we can all learn how to love better.

Signs of Healthy Relationships:

1. Fun
2. Healthy Conflict
3. Respect
4. Trust
5. Honesty
6. Equality
7. Independence
8. Taking Responsibility
9. Kindness
10. Comfortable pace

Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship

1. Volatility
2. Betrayal
3. Manipulation
4. Deflecting responsibility
5. Isolation
6. Sabotage
7. Intensity
8. Possessiveness
9. Belittling
10. Guilting 

What do I do if I think someone is in an abusive or toxic relationship?

It is normal to experience a wide range of emotions when you find out someone has experienced sexual assault, dating and domestic violence, or stalking. Research involving survivors of sexual assault, dating/domestic violence, and stalking shows that the reactions of people they tell can have long-term negative effects on their recovery. The research generally shows that if survivors are met with negative reactions (e.g., blaming or not believing the survivor), they are more likely to experience negative effects, including increased post-traumatic stress disorder and depression.

If you find out that someone has experienced harm, there are several things that you should remember. Your first priority is to make sure that the person is safe. This is especially true if an incident just happened. Here are some things to remember:

1. Believe what the survivor is telling you.
2. You should assure the survivor knows that what happened to them is not their fault.
3. Listen without judgement.
4. Try not to ask too many questions.
5. Don’t ask why questions (they can come off as though you are blaming the survivor).
6. Know the on and off campus resources that are available to the survivor.
7. Ask the survivor if they would like help accessing resources.
8. Show care and concern towards the survivor.
9. Make sure that you are taking care of yourself.
10. Utilize resources for yourself if needed and practice self-care.

It isn’t always easy to know exactly what to say when someone confides in you. Here are a few phrases that you can say:

1. I believe you.
2. It took a lot of courage to tell me about this.
3. It’s not your fault.
4. You didn’t do anything to deserve this.
5. I care about you and am here to listen or help.
6. I’m sorry this happened to you.
7. You are not alone.

How do I help a friend who is LGBTQIA+ who has experienced harm?

Keep in mind all of the above, as well as these tips below:

• Remind the person that their identity is valid.
• Identity or situation is never an excuse for abusive behavior.
• Encourage them to seek out LGBTQ+ specific resources.
• Remember that law enforcement may not be the best option.
• Try to be a consistent support system.

For more information on how to respond to someone who has disclosed to you, check out these websites: